You can’t help your parent or yourself if you are in crisis or poor mental health. Getting yourself stable first is the foundation for whatever comes next. Living in a “more-than-messy” house is a lonely situation. Talk to your parents, if you think you can be heard. If conversations can be difficult, you could try writing a letter. If you can’t talk about it with your parents or other family members, perhaps you can speak with another trusted adult. These may include:
A Friend’s Parent
If you have a friend, especially one who knows how messy your house is, chances are their parent also knows. Maybe your friend has an older sibling who would listen and offer advice. Finding someone who can help you brainstorm solutions and find resources can really help you to feel less alone.
Teachers
If you are still in school, teachers are among the adults who know you best. Even if you are no longer in school, you may still have a close relationship with a former teacher. Teachers are wonderful people who want to help. Reach out to a teacher you trust. Be sure to know what you want to say. See this resource on developing a good teacher-student relationship.
School Counselors
School counselors are there to help you. One of their main responsibilities is to listen to students who have problems, however big they are. Counselors have access to resources that you might not have thought about before. You can ask your teacher or the main office how to make an appointment with a counselor. Before you go, think about what you want to say and what you hope to get out of the appointment. Do you want them to just listen? Do you want advice or resources? Thinking about what you want to get out of the appointment (or series of appointments) will help you get to the solution more quickly. More information on school counselors can be found here.
Health Care Professionals
You can ask to have some private time with a doctor or nurse at an appointment. You may want to share with them that you don’t feel healthy in your home. In most cases, your doctor will keep the details of what you talk about private. The only time your doctor cannot keep something private is when they believe there is an immediate threat to your safety or someone else’s. You may want to simply ask if they have any resources for you. You tell them if you want the information you share to stay private, and you may ask who will have access to the information.
People of Faith
If you are part of a church (or even if you’re not), many times someone there could be a trusted adult. As with conversations with the other types of people, it will help if you go into the conversation knowing what you want to get out of it.
Please see Disclaimers page.
More Than Messy 